I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
