He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
