We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
BRING THE BAGELS
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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