GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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