She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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