Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
