My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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