The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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