hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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