I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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