Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
