me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
