My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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