It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
