If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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