she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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