did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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