why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
