Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
