Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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