today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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