I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
