"it" just moved
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
