she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
