I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
