break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
