i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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