i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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