Your tits are I can't wait for
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
