I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
