the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize