Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
