she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
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