...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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