Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
