took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
