wakey wakey hands off snakey
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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