I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sober January is a disaster.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
