so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize