Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just invented taco cereal.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
