Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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