: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
