using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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