Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
