we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
