i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
