we have pet lesbian snakes
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
