Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
