the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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