Can Purell be used as lube?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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