my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
