anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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