i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
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Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
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The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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