My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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