I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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