If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
