wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
