i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
