you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
