Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
