But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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