the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
