At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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